


Fool Me Twice

by Cousin Shelley (CousinShelley)



Series: Van Helsing April Fool's Day Stories [9]
Category: Van Helsing (2004)
Genre: April Fool's Day fic, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CousinShelley/pseuds/Cousin%20Shelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the April Fool's Day story written on 4/1/2013. Not all of them deal with All Fools' Day, but they were all started and finished on April 1st of that year. It's just a thing I do. They can be read independently of one another unless otherwise noted--this one is actually a sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/573823">Side Effects</a>, last year's April Fool's Day story, but you can still understand it fine without reading that one.</p><p>Van Helsing's so busy thinking about his prank on Carl he forgets to be wary. Total fluff and nonsense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fool Me Twice

Carl, Van Helsing's closest friend, was a genius. But this year on All Fools' Day, Van Helsing was going to outsmart him.

Van Helsing smiled as he thought about his “friend” Carl, and how he couldn't think that without putting an emphasis on the word “friend” in a way that meant Carl wasn't really just a friend after all. He wasn't even sure what other word was appropriate for Carl besides “friend.” They were lovers, but somehow lover didn't seem a big enough word.

They were partners in the Order, even moreso than any other knight could be with any other inventor. None had as close a relationship as he and Carl—a thought that made him smile again and chuckle .Of course none did, but even as far as true friendship, none came close. They were partners in the field, even though Carl still insisted he was not a field man and even though he complained loudly and relentlessly about weather conditions, rough patches of ground and the food they often had to eat while traveling.

Carl made up for all his grumbling and grousing by pointing out how there _were_ aspects of traveling alone with Van Helsing that were most definitely perks. And then by showing Van Helsing just what he was talking about. Carl could be, after all, a very wicked little friar.

Van Helsing allowed himself one more chuckle before he stopped at Carl's door. His honor was at stake now after the incident last All Fool's Day when Carl dosed his underwear with itching powder. Though he'd suffered for a good cause considering the outcome of Carl's little prank, he still owed the friar one. He reached into his pocket to be sure Carl's little surprise was in place.

He tapped lightly on the door and opened it. “You wanted to show me something?”

“Oh, yes, yes! Come here, Van Helsing, and look at what I just finished yesterday!”

Van Helsing eyed the contraption. It reminded him of Carl's goggle helmet with the lenses attached, except it wasn't a helmet. It was more like a telescope with various lenses jutting out at all angles down its length.

“What is it?”

“It's a device that lets you see an object at different magnifications without having to remove or adjust the focus, so that if you're looking at something you don't have to risk losing it when you try to bring it into clearer view. I thought it would come in handy in the field when you spot an elusive beastie but can't see it clearly enough. It can't disappear while you're trying to see it more clearly. Or I suppose it can, but this will make it far less likely. Come and take a look.”

“Mm. What's it called?”

“I don't have a name for it yet.” Carl held the object out and jiggled it a little impatiently. “Just try it.”

Gabriel took it, carefully not to bump any of the lenses. “Don't you think you should name it so I can ask for it quickly? I can't very well call it by the explanation you just gave. Even the slowest creature would get away before I finished.”

Carl sighed, though he was smiling. “Leave it to you to find a drawback right away—I'll find a shorter name for it soon enough, but I doubt there's one appropriate word to sum it all up. Try it out.”

Carl waved his hands at Van Helsing as if he were in a huge hurry. He got impatient when it came to his inventions, but he seemed particularly excited by this one. “I'll stand over here so you can look at me and see what I mean. Just hold it up to one eye and close the other.”

Van Helsing held the telescope to his right eye and closed his left, focusing on Carl's face.

“Am I in focus?”

“Yes.”

“Now, without removing it from your eye, use your other hand to slide one of the lenses in place. They're on hinges and will snap into the appropriate slot. Keep looking as you do it . . . . “

With only a little difficulty, Van Helsing snapped a lens into place. Instantly, Carl's face disappeared and his nose filled Van Helsing's view. “That's amazing, Carl! I can see the hairs in your nostril, individual hairs, all in focus!”

“Oh!” Carl squeaked and rubbed his nose. “Now try another.”

Van Helsing slid the first one out and snapped another one into place. He couldn't tell what he was looking at for a moment, until he realized it was a tiny spot of flesh on Carl's cheek filling the entire view. And it appeared to be in focus. He could see a few pores. He tried another without prompting and got a close-up view of the left side of Carl's face.

“That's amazing! Each one offers a different magnification while keeping the view completely in focus.”

Carl clapped his hands together. "And by using a combination, you can get a much higher magnification than almost any telescope yet invented! Now try the one on the very end. I almost can't reach it—I didn't measure very well—but your arms are longer.”

Van Helsing tried that one, and suddenly he could see Carl's whole body and the entire wall he stood against.

“That one gives you a broader view, in case you need to be able to cover more ground. Now watch this—don't move it.”

Carl attached something to the end of the telescope and the view shifted, but Carl still stood there, waving. What was different, though . . . was the wall.

Van Helsing removed the telescope from his eye and looked at Carl, who stood in front of him and to his right. He was looking straight ahead with the telescope, but seeing Carl on his right. “Remarkable!”

“It still needs some modifications, but it will let you look around corners and obstacles.”

Van Helsing held the telescope out to Carl, who was laughing with joy at his invention. “Once again you've outdone yourself, Carl.”

Carl kept giggling as he took it. “Yes, yes I have. I really have!” He propped his invention carefully in the corner and then approached Van Helsing. He laughed again. “I've outdone myself again.”

The laughter was contagious, and Van Helsing caught Carl's lips in a kiss when he'd finished chuckling. “And you're so modest.”

Carl was still overcome with mirth, but Van Helsing's attention had gone to the tiny bit of fabric in his pocket. He fished it out while pressing his lips to Carl's again, silencing the man's giggles as he did so. With that hand, he cupped the back of Carl's head, his other hand going around Carl's waist. He kissed Carl deeply, both to distract him and because it was one of his favorite things to do.

He stroked Carl's hair and actually bent Carl back a little as he twined their tongues together. When he broke for air, he touched Carl's hair one more time, then dropped his hand.

“I think your invention is wonderful. When do you think we can use it in the field?”

“Hmm?” Carl asked, still reeling from the kiss. “Oh, soon. I think—oh, I'm supposed to be in Jinette's office, uh, now! Let's talk more about it later tonight, all right?”

Carl kissed him then, and rushed out of the room before Van Helsing could go. He stopped in the doorway and laughed again. “I'll see you later?”

Van Helsing laughed. “Yes. Better hurry.” He went to the door and watched Carl hurry away, admiring the tiny pink bow and short trailing ribbon he'd actually managed to pin to Carl's hair.  
 _  
You may have outdone yourself, but so have I._ He enjoyed imagining Carl's reaction on finding it. He hoped it stayed in for hours—few would be bold enough to tell Carl about it. For all they knew, he might be running some type of experiment. A hat with a dozen lenses attached, a pink bow pinned to his hair—anything was possible with an eccentric, genius friar.

Van Helsing went to the lab, considering moving a few of Carl's tool's around, just to add to the supreme joke he'd already played. Or perhaps he'd leave Carl a note that only he would understand.

Everyone seemed to be in a jolly mood today. Perhaps all the pranks played had been in good fun, because everyone Van Helsing met on the way and in the lab had a smile for him, and often they greeted him with laughter in their voice. Usually people flinched away from him when they saw him, but today--

He stopped in front of Carl's rack of silver stakes. He stepped forward, then snapped one of them down and held it close to his face.

“You little--”

He rubbed the skin around his right eye, his fingers coming away black, the dark circle left there by the telescope now smeared on his cheek. Van Helsing could only hope whatever it was washed off easily.

It didn't. When he went back to Carl's room later that night, he had a dark circle around his eye that was only a few shades lighter after much scrubbing. Carl was shirtless when he walked in, wearing only thin trousers. His back was to the door as he leaned slightly over his bed folding the shirt he must have just removed. The bow was gone from the back of his head.

“You found the little surprise from me, I see.” Van Helsing wrapped his arms around Carl from behind and kissed his ear.

“I did. And I can assume you found mine?”

“Mm hmm.”

Carl turned in his arms and laughed. “Sorry. I feared it would have to wear off over a few days. . . but I still couldn't resist.”

“I'll forgive you,” he said before kissing Carl, “as long as you assure me that many people saw that bow before you noticed it.”

“I had my back turned to Jinette at least a dozen times, pacing while he talked. He smiled a lot—something you know he doesn't do so much when he has meetings with _me_. But he didn't tell me. I ran into at least a dozen people who must have seen it. Am I forgiven?”

“I suppose so.”

“How about if I admit that I liked your little joke so much, I didn't throw the bow away.”

“You didn't?” Van Helsing smiled and kissed Carl's neck.

“No. I simply moved it to a slightly more private place.”

Van Helsing gasped, then used two fingers to pull the front of Carl's trousers out. He was greeted by a most enticing sight.

Carl laughed. “I think pink is my color, don't you?”

“Once again, I forgive you.”

Carl was a genius, his genius, a special “friend,” a lover, a partner, and so much more. He was everything good and wonderful in Van Helsing's life—and right now, he was an erotic little friar adorned intimately witih a pretty pink ribbon who was impatiently removing Van Helsing's shirt in a way that threatened to tear it.

Carl was like one of his own inventions, Van Helsing realized. No single word could sum him up.


End file.
